Well, I have a lot of shit on my mind.
I lost a lot of money last night. Been there done that. Tonight though, I paid off majority of those debts but didnt have much for myself. Oh Well. Went out to Apps with some people. I think I realized where I stand with those people. Things have changed. It won't go back - and I guess its fine. I probably shouldn't have stayed so long. I felt awkward and out of place the entire time. Meanwhile there were several times weird things were said to each other and made me feel uncomfortable/ unwanted.
I also had a weird encounter with a friend that I'd rather not get into further here.
Also at the show tonight, a girl that I had been very close to returned an item that I had given as a present. I have no need for the item. I don't understand the reason why it was given. It seems immature if anything, because she didn't answer my texts. She'll probably read this.
I am currently watching the 2008 video from Bryan. What a load of bullshit. I know its all fun and games, nor do I really care anymore. But I know I have been replaced. I am in some pics, I dont want to be in all over them by any means but it is obvious who the "new group" and "old group" is.
Whatever, there is just a lot on my mind. Someone from the past, these friends, and then some. I don't know what the rest of 2009 will hold, but if the past few weeks are any indication - I am fucked.
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I know a handful of people who have gotten to know you incredibly well in the last couple weeks/months and have no intentions of losing you or replacing you or anything. "We got close and you became a new best friend..." We love you a lot. And we know that you have the biggest geart in the scene. In or out of it, we love you the same. Don;t think thats changing any time soon!
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