Secret postings

So I had to come here to write. And I think I might, more often.

But I don't want to advertise. As much as I like people reading my stuff, there are all these cynics out there. I use my Twitter, Facebook and blogs to show how I feel. Or at least I used to a lot more. But I realize sometimes my feelings are too strong and I come off as a constantly depressed child if I can't write things out properly. That isn't me. I am not entirely depressed, nor a child. I am not really looking for attention, but the writings I do - even a tweet, are meant for my sanity. If I keep things bottled up for so long I will explode sooner or later. I know because it has happened in the past.

I have the mildly successful Dobs Love Army website, but I can't write this stuff on there. A bunch of people read it and its not "love" material. Sometimes its the complete opposite of that.

I'm sitting in my dorm room here at Stony Brook. Its the final semester. March 10th. About six weeks in, eight or so to go. It's my fifth year in college. I have stopped caring long ago.

Could it be that I believe that this education is not needed for what I want to do? Not exactly. I think I stuck it out for my parent's own good, as well as my own. I knew its better to have a degree than to be on the road, poor and no education.

Most people get to the senioritis stage near their last semester (usually during forth year of school). But that happened to me 3rd semester here at Stony Brook - what should have been my "senior" year.

Now the classes I am taking are senior classes, including a project for the journalism major that I really can't care too much about. And a lot of due dates are on the way. I can't seem to focus.

I have tours to book, shows to play, parties to go to. Those are some things that you can argue I don't need - but without them I am a dead man. They are big parts of my own sanity.

You see, I run an interesting life. I can't do things without being stressed. But I may have gotten over my own head on this one. I have done things so relaxed so far that I don't remember how to actually study. I have bands to call - and I will get in touch with them before I do work. Then I struggle in the end. My priorities are messed up.

As this week quickly passes by, I have a test to hand in Monday, a big mid-term Tuesday and a huge update on senior project on Tuesday night as well. I have two shows to play this weekend. Sans one guitarist.

Health is also a huge topic in my little brain. I have recently begun eating a lot more then normal and at weird times. I am usually rushed so I overeat. And now I am on the path for a weight problem. I want to work out, but I get nervous around people. I want to run, walk, whatever. As the Spring gets closer I hope to try those things again. And really stick with them. But again...I get sidetracked. I will explore this in a later blog.

Thanks for listening, if anyone still is on this particular blog.

Maybe one day I will talk about the romantic end of my life too. But that is a novel in itself.

Updating while in transit!

I'm currently on the train on the way back to SB. I decided I had to update. I have too much on my mind to keep it inside.

I haven't mentioned it to that many people but I think I am slipping away from who I was. I really have been so busy I haven't seen myself lately. I certainly don't see a lot of people I care about and its hard to stay in touch with everyone. I've come to this realization recently.

This week has been hell - I have been in and out of Jschool with projects in and out of NYC for the internship and in and out of spaces for band practices. They already almost overlapped.

I really haven't had time to relax however I am still genrally happy. I'm in a routine. But I can feel something dragging me down. I have stepped into too many things at once and something has dried up. I can't give my all for everything. Because I'm so busy.

I really don't have a way out. My life is made of transportation and relying on LIRR, friends, family and sometimes my car.

Just know if I haven't seen you - I am sorry. I need to reconnect with everyone after the semester for sure.

On a last note - don't you just love when iPods play music that goes exactly how you are feeling? SiC life br0.

Relax...I'm still alive.

So I guess I haven't posted in about three whole months.
A lot can happen in a day let alone three months. I don't even know where to begin.
I've wanted to start writing again for a little while, but haven't had the chance.
For those of you that know me - I get my feet wet in a lot of things.
I have the band I manage/book for, I'm in two bands, I run a booking company, I started a music website, I am a senior at SBU, I have an internship twice a week and when I am lucky I can see some friends.

I've been thinking a lot recently - especially since school is coming to an end very soon. I've always had the idea that school is the back-up plan to my life. I hope that is the case. But I am involved in so much, I am afraid I can't give a full 100% in one thing in particular. I don't work well when focused on one thing - but am I really reaching full potential doing so much?

I guess there is no real way to answer that question. But I am going to be re-evaluating what I am involved in and somehow condense and change things.

Even with this blog. I used to tell people to visit it. Then I started dobslovearmy.com ---> but now that is kind of dormant since I haven't been out with TC in a while. I still like to update with cool little things, but it really is hard to keep up. Also - who cares what I think? I guess that is the point, I type what I feel. Or post what entertains me. Then people can read it if they find it and if they like it they can comment.

Hrm. I listen to a lot of music, obviously, but I always feel like I listen to the save like seven albums on my iTunes - even though I have 5000+ songs on my iPod, and over 13,000 on my iTunes. Nothing really catches my ear anymore. Or perhaps I have heard so much shitty music it doesn't make me feel like I used to. I need more nights to just listen to some music, stare at the sky and so on.

I just finished watching Adventurland. It took like, three hours because I downloaded a copy that ended early then I couldn't download the codec for it to play. But aside from that tech mumbo-jumbo, it was a really nice movie.

I find that I am really aiming to watch a lot more movies that are similar in style. They are love stories, but there is this coming-of-age type feel to them. The same thing with books. OH YEAH - I read now. But I have been really into these books that have this like, theme to them. I guess I like to try and relate things to my life. Or realize what could have, or should have been.

Tour

So first of all please keep in mind its 6:53AM. I have no reason to be up except for anticipation for 3 hours from now.
In 3 hours I will be heading over to Anthony Condition's house to pack up and leave for tour. It's almost exactly like last year - we left on June 2nd then, though. I remember like it was yesterday - these five guys asked me to book their tour for them at Dobfest (the original). I agreed but when I got into that van on that day - I had no idea who they were.

But here I am ready to embark on a month and a half long trip - the longest tour I have been on. I have gone out with them practicially all semester too. I am so happy that we became friends and I am so glad I have got to meet all the people I did.
Here I am with Dob's Love Army, The Scene Life - even Calling Out Productions. I even started playing music with the Promise because I got back into it with TC.

But I can't wait. I am going to have a good time. It will be relaxing.

It's actually pretty crazy to know that when we get back on July 18th - I have one month until I have to head back to school. They'll go out again. I'll probably do a little bit more with them, but I got some Blink tickets for around here. I also want to start to settle down here because some of my friends graduated and are getting full time jobs.

I feel like I have so much to do, but ... I don't. I packed. I just have to go to the bank and then I am out. I think I'll miss Long Island. Maybe not the WHOLE island. But definitely certain aspects.

This past week and a half has changed me. For the first time in a while I am leaving something behind. But as much as it stinks, I will have something to come back to when I get back (hopefully).

Well, expect updates on here again finally. I plan to take a lot of photos, and video. I will be updating DLA more - but some personal stories will probably end up here. Mainly when I want to write something that isn't super-public.

I love you all and see you in July.

I don't want to grow up...

So as the semester comes to a close, I have seen some of my closest friends freak out over some classes as they get ready to graduate this year. I freaked out about classes too, but I will not be joining them down at the ceremony.

It's starting to hit that I am not graduating this year - its a known fact, not a surprise. But many of my friends I graduated high school with four years ago are completing college. They get to enter the real world. Granted, I am not ready for the "real world" - whatever that may be for me. I know that my future looks good and bad at the same time. I will be pursuing something that is so underground and uncertain I probably will have problems at some point with finding a job, but so will everyone.

But it comes with this change as these friends graduate that people change. A lot of things have changed in the past years. Friends, bands, girls, guys, even my likes and dislikes in music. I took some time the other day to look at a bunch of my Facebook photos from the beginning of being tagged until now. And that is just the beginning, I have thousands more pictures on my computer.

It's interesting to see where I have come from, but the problem is I don't know where I am going.

I have been all over the place, trying to be several different places at once. That doesn't work anymore. It's time to settle down. But I haven't found anything I am comfortable with. It's something I have been missing for a long time. And I have searched high and low but have yet to find something that feels right.

I think this summer will have an interesting effect on me. It will, in a way, keep my mind off things. But that van freetime will certainly take its toll.

But regardless, I will keep searching.

Once again..a gap

First of all keep in mind everytime you see a "P" you must understand I have to click the button twice because that key isnt working for me apparently. Jerk.

Anyway, so Bamboozle was amazing. Thanks to everyone that came. I worked a bunch on the day they played and I didn't mind. I got to meet a lot of awesome people. I am so stoked for the summer tour. I think that its gonna be rad and I may have done a good job booking most of it. I have 12 more full dates to finish on their first run. I'm planning on finishing that this week.
If you know anyone in those areas, please tell them to come out so I could sleep on their floor.
www.myspace.com/thiscondition

Last week was the LAST week of school classes. Now I am done. All my final projects were in last week. I dont have anything else to do until end of August. I am pretty pumped about that. I am home in Levittown for this week but then I gotta go back for RA duties on Friday during the day and a lot more next week. Then I will officially be done. So awesome.

I can't wait to see a bunch of my friends from here once they get back from their respective colleges. I am pumped for the summer. Only thing I always feel torn because I leave a lot behind here. But I think the road is where I am meant to be.

Oh and BTW I am pumped for Blink announcing a tour this week :-x.
I have to go. Somewhere. Wherever it is.

Ok I love you buhbye.

i messed up

school has taken up my life
so i havent updated.
but exactly one week from today...im finished.
i did most of my assignments, though. so im gonna be relaxed.

this weekend is going to be awesome. its BAMBOOZLE WEEKEND.
...usually the craziest of the semester.
and the fun starts tonight at the donkey at the preshow
then THIS CONDITION is playing boozle on Saturday (1135 zumiez stage)

thanks to everyone that voted.

i am gonna be around music for the next 4 days.

soooo awesome.
ill post some pics. soon.

as for now i gotta go back listening to my professor. boo.

EDIT: this post is dedicated to sammy scissors. she told me to update. sorry i didnt give ya too much info yet ;-)